he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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