dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
