Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
