Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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