it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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