Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
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