we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
