Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
