I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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