We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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