Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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