she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
