either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
