i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
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