VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Randomize
