you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
nutella sex= disaster
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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