I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
