Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
