Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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