when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
