I'm going to jail i love you
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
