the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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