shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
