So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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