I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Terrible idea I love it
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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