The brown eye won't let me do that either.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
false alarm, still single
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