I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
