You're my little dorito
"it" just moved
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
As shirtless as possible
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
