I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
40s are totally the cure
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
