i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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