I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
