Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
