Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I didn't shave. On purpose
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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