i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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