It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
