We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
