i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
