Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
