I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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