she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Dick very happy bro
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
