i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
