My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
