So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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