just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
me + whiskey = a bad person
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
