All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
It was like giving head to a cactus.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
