He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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