Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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