I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
