Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
