Who wears a wallet chain?!
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
